A side thought...

Emotions are a funny thing. They rule our lives. They can change our day. They can make our day. It’s all down to how we feel. They change when we are alone and when we are in a crowd of people. They change whether we listen to music or whether we are surrounded by silence.

Often we know exactly what we should be feeling in a certain situation and we just cannot get there. For example, I am given this amazing opportunity and I know I should be feeling excited, inspired and ready. But even in writing that sentence, I feel overwhelmed, nervous and very much like a small fish. It’s harder when people look to you as their pillar of strength because you in actual fact do not feel strong at all.

The same happens in love. One day, you know you should pull back and guard your heart and yet, the next, you are throwing yourself into something you are not sure will work but don’t want to be faced with the questions, what if I tried harder or what if I never told him? It is a complete catch 22 or being stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Another plaguing and terrifying thought, is when are we ready? When are we ready to make a commitment, to say yes and to allow yourself to openly fall head over heels in love with someone? We never truly know. So by pulling yourself back, are you denying yourself the chance at love or are you making a wise decision to save yourself the heartache. The biggest problem is that by the time one starts asking themselves these questions, you have already lost your heart to someone and now, merely trying to make yourself feel OK with how you feel. However, you may think you are in love, but it is only ‘in love’ when it is reciprocated. Then, I believe, you can totally and completely fall, head over heels, in love with someone. And when that happens, it is beautiful. Scary, because you are at your most vulnerable, but beautiful. And if you can find a person who can completely hold and nurture that love, then that is when we should go for it.

Finally, there is an art to words that I have learnt over time. Having been through long relationships, short relationships and adventures (if I may) I have learnt that people take the words ‘I am in love with you’ and ‘I adore you’ too lightly. One person can love many people. However, to be in love with a person is completely different. You can only be in love with one person, or so you should anyway. I can barely handle one person, I am not sure how people handle more than one. Then, when you are involved with a person, you need to adore them. Treat them like your better half. Take their interests and dreams seriously and nurture them. When they share their problems, take them gently as you may not think they are problems at all but for them, they may be. Never stop dating. I read a saying once, that if you treat a relationship the same way you did in the first 3 months, your relationship will never see an end. People like being wanted and even more so, needed.

When you find a person, who you think you may be in love with, remember that when you say those words, you are opening yourself up and showing them your most beautiful and vulnerable self. Be ready to accept them as you want them to accept you. May we all find a little bit of love this year.